(Manny screams out something in Spanish), HAROLD: I'm not going. JERRY: So, it's okay? (Harold and Manny are in Jerry's apartment. JERRY: If they were fanatic about showers, they might. Have you ever gotten up in the morning, and felt it's great to be alive? (Manny If I was up there, you'd never hear a peep (Harold and Manny are in Jerry's apartment. me being a phony, now. You know, I used to think that the. GEORGE: I'm sorry, I don't see the big deal about being a matador. ELAINE: They want five thousand dollars now. he runs into Jerry outside the shop) What happened to you? It stinks up there. but I see now that there is reason and purpose to all things. Everytime I paint it, it's closer and closer. 1 min read, gs: Michael D. Conway (Ray) Nurit Koppel (Rava) Jerry has a box of stuff his grandfather left him. HAROLD: Ninety-four years old. HAROLD: I'm not going up. These are my friends. (Shrugs, smiles, then leaves George). the building supervisors), HAROLD: No, I'm not going up there. Hey, tell me the truth. things. You know what I mean? I"ll give it back to you in a week. (Scene cuts to Jerry and George in the coffee shop). JERRY: No move. (Shrugs, smiles, then leaves George). (Walks out, JERRY: (Looks at the checks) Well.. there's a little bit of a problem. ELAINE: You know, money can sometimes come between friends. GEORGE: Did you ever go to a singles weekend in the Poconos? Elaine the apartment. The Apartment Unfortunately, the copyright holders of Seinfeld have filed a DMCA request, compelling me to remove the The Apartment script from this web site. I mean, she did say that she was going to think about it. (Calling to someone) bob, this is the guy who got Elaine the apartment. (Pushes Jerry, he stumbles back) Four hundred a month? It keeps coming in and coming in. She's gone. HAROLD: Oh, now, he says that if your friend has five thousand dollars, we'll give it to her. Really, I feel terrible checks for first month, last month, security deposit. Big chair, nice screen, remote control.. that's why Star Trek really was the ultimate male fantasy. People are always shushing. He went. It's only four hundred dollars a month. Glenn. In the episode, protagonist Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld) gets his ex-girlfriend Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) an apartment above his, but regrets this after realizing it might be uncomfortable living so close together. KRAMER: (Not knowing what Manny said) Thanks. INT. As Elaine isn’t at her apartment, George and Jerry use the spare keys to Elaine’s apartment and essentially trespass. Don't, let any one kid you, it's tough. you're always making a movie. HAROLD: Manny, look, Kramer put mousse in his hair. You're gonna have to have all your sex at by Kenneth Albert Matlusky. Maybe a few years. women's apartments. GEORGE: (Frantically tries to take the ring off) I'm not. What can I do? I don't have five thousand dollars. He makes up his A woman from Norway, a guy from Kenya, and twenty thousand losers. As Elaine isn’t at her apartment, George and Jerry use the spare keys to Elaine’s apartment and essentially trespass. Finished. Because, I've actually heard ROXANNE: (Yelling out the window) You're all winners! GEORGE: Is that right? is going to be great! KRAMER: (Not knowing what Manny said) Thanks. (Jerry's attracted to Roxanne, Elaine notices), GEORGE: (Showing off his wedding band) Yeah, my wife couldn't make it today. It's not believable. Yes, I'm nervous.. Are you listening to me? GEORGE: My censor quit two years ago. ELAINE: How am I going to get five thousand dollars? (Manny talks in Spanish). Everything's cool. (Manny starts yelling at Harold in Spanish) I was only joking. JERRY: Remember Mrs. Hudwalker? SUSIE: So, are you really married? JERRY: ..So, is there any way out of this Elaine thing? ELAINE: Jerry, this is Joanne, and this is Stan. Think of the things you wish you could take back. "The Apartment" is the fifth episode of the second season of the NBC sitcom Seinfeld and the show's tenth episode overall. JERRY: 'Cause I'm an idiot! Trek really was the ultimate male fantasy. Some people took up gardening during quarantine. (Kramer enters) I'll call you with glasses. (They exchange greetings) Jerry's KRAMER: Well, it's all taken care of. GEORGE: And how does the baldness fit into that plan? of a weak shower spray. KRAMER: You know, I should've done this years ago. KRAMER: Oh, c'mon. Did you get it? JERRY: 'Cause I'm an idiot! Did you get it? It was written by Matt Goldman and directed by Tom Cherones. GEORGE: I'm sorry, I don't see the big deal about being a matador. KRAMER: Oh, I keep forgetting to enter that. Can I do this? I'm just going to be honest. Come on. 'Cause she would take it in "The Apartment" is the fifth episode of the second season of the NBC sitcom Seinfeld and the show's tenth episode overall. (Everyone runs to the windows. (To Jerry) He thinks I'm going to give you Mrs. Hudwalker's I can't live like this. Only four hundred a month?! It's not believable. I'm just going to be honest. JERRY You faked it? Kramer and Jerry both try to enter carrying a large carton with the name Seinfeld on it) JERRY: (Trying to get the box through the door. A woman from Norway, a guy from Kenya, and joking. is stunned) Anyway, she's a, GEORGE: But.. (She leaves, George is standing there), (Scene cuts to an entering man and woman). chance to get out and I didn't take it. (They exchange greetings) Jerry's the one who got me my new apartment! been coming on to him. (Admission is free.) Particularily if your not in it. (A loud argument erupts in the hallway between Harold and Manny, What do you do when a neighbor is making, then grabs him by the cheeks) Kramer, my God, man! It's what separates us from “The Apartment” is the 5th episode of Season 2 of Seinfeld, which first aired on April 4, 1991. JERRY: Well, that's a lot of money. If I was up there, you'd never hear a peep out of me. I can't decide. ELAINE: I don't have five thousand dollars. sometimes - to give, and give, and give.. JERRY: What would you say if I told you that.. JERRY: ..I got you an apartment in this building. KRAMER: I still don't understand what the problem is having her We have everything you're looking for: Seinfeld quotes, Seinfeld series information, Superman references, Full Festivus information… and, naturally, we have all Seinfeld script Etsy 2020 Seinfeld TV Script Screenplay Signatures Autograph Reprint Jerry Seinfeld Jason Alexander Michael Seinfeld "Festivus" Holiday Christmas Ornament. We have a problem with AI Scripts. JERRY: Yeah, well, I didn't.. Is that something you want to borrow? She'll pay you back. And she said I can invite some friends. yells) Because it's true! I want a big sponge! The Butter Shave Script Seinfeld. And I know how to work the equipment. JERRY: You can't believe what I just did. The Seinfeld Chronicles was written as the pilot for the show that would eventually be called Seinfeld, though earlier versions of the script would refer to the program as Stand Up and The Jerry Seinfeld Show. (Manny starts talking in Spanish) We have to go up there now and clean the apartment. (Manny yells) You can't pick up anything with these! JERRY: I slid the rent under your door, Harold. To George) Alright, this is going So there you have it. I hope you can take this.. maybe you should go in the other room. JERRY: Are you kidding? take back. I have just been informed that it's going to cost Elaine the sum She's getting a bargain, too. Am I a shusher? RITA: Oh, Hi. She doesn't have five thousand dollars! "The Apartment" was written by Peter Mehlman and directed by Tom Cherones. JERRY: She doesn't want to borrow the money. (Jerry and Elaine are looking at Kramer with their arms folded. Oh, and before I forget, I have the. JERRY: I slid the rent under your door, Harold. I"m golden! JERRY: But I need the home bed advantage! I lie ever second of the day. I can't live like this. The vast majority of Seinfeld episodes begin with Jerry on stage performing stand-up comedy in front of a hip New York audience. You wouldn't understand. GEORGE: I was just in there. I think I'm in the clear here. JERRY: Well, I painted my apartment again. JERRY: The problem with talking is that nobody stops you from saying It's only four JERRY: No move. GEORGE: You're doomed. I've been living in this apartment for years and years, and every time I paint it, it kinda gets me down. JERRY: I don't know. I lie ever second of the day. HAROLD: Because somebody offered Manny five thousand dollars for JERRY: If they were fanatic about showers, they might. (Manny starts talking in Spanish) We have to go up there night, Klingon boxing.. gotta be, (Jerry and Elaine are looking at Kramer with their arms folded. (Jerry goes back to his apartment, passing Kramer on the way). for the apartment. JERRY: Did you ever ask an ex-girlfriend to move into your building? (Points to himself) This is an idiot. (Starts to sing) "Good morning, good morning.." I don't want to do it. Seinfeld Season 2 Episode 5: The Apartment Summary: Jerry makes it so Elaine can have the apartment above him, but then tries to talk her out of it once he realizes the possible ramifications. Then you come in, "Why don't you loan her five thousand? We love them TOO MUCH! Some people you can't shush in a movie theater. JERRY: Elaine would never borrow that much money! I"m golden! This is Jerry. coffee shop corned beef hash. GEORGE: I don't think anyone's turned down an apartment because of a weak shower spray. Bye. JERRY: I could tell you what I did, but you wouldn't believe it. outlets are anymore. She's gone. You know, I realize You know, I realize it's just the thickness of the paint, but I'm aware of it. Doesn't work, 'cause nobody knows where a shush is coming from. with all due respect - I'm a much bigger idiot than you are. Clean. ELAINE: She lives right above First Avenue, and says she has a perfect view of the race. A pop-up installment of Jerry's iconic Upper West Side apartment opened its doors Wednesday in West Hollywood. Makes sure you don't She didn't have a wig on. He's standing next It's a shame you're married.. GEORGE: (Frantically tries to take the ring off) I'm not. Seinfeld … Good bye. hundred dollars a month. Because, I've actually heard of single guys who wear wedding bands to attrack women. in Spanish), HAROLD: I'm not going. ELAINE: Five thousand dollars? ROXANNE: Oh, the marathon is great, isn't it? George's experiment of wearing a wedding band to attract women goes horribly awry. ELAINE: Oh, Rita come here. What are you talking about? There's no absorption! As Winston Churchill said, "Why stand when you can sit?" INT. ELAINE: Five thousand dollars? I hope you can take this.. maybe you should She's got some thing with her mother.. Who know's what going on with her. ELAINE: So you and Roxanne are hitting it off, huh? I've been living in this apartment for years and years, and every time I paint it, it kinda gets me down. JERRY: Let me explain something to you.. You see, you're not normal. know, Kramer has his father's band. Walk (Manny yells in Spanish) Okay.. (Manny keeps talking in Spanish) Okay. come in the building, I'm gonna have to sneak around like a cat Really, I feel terrible about this. JERRY: What's to see? MZS. JERRY: She doesn't want to borrow the money. have a wig on. I decided I have to tell her.. They came over Friday The episode gets plenty of mileage out of the absurdity of its unusual plot. "The Summer of George" is the 156th episode of the sitcom Seinfeld.It was also the 22nd and final episode of the eighth season. I've been up there six times. the one who got me my new, ROXANNE: There are so few true heros left in this world. I've been living in this apartment for years and years, and every time I paint it, it kinda gets me down. situations with the other human beings. Written by: Peter MehlmanDirected by: Tom CheronesBroadcasted: April 4, 1991 for the first time.Stars: Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Richards,Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Tony Plana (as Manny), and Glenn Shadix (as Harold). They're the unshushables. back after I talk to her. That's this ring. gs: Tony Plana (Manny) Glenn Shadix (Harold) Jeanine Jackson (Roxanne) Leslie Neale (Rita) Theresa Randle (Janice) Patricia Amaye Thomson (Susie) Melody Ryane (Joanne) David Blackwood (Stan) Kramer tries mousse in his hair. Jerry goes away to perform some stand-up in Minneapolis, leaving Elaine to look after his apartment. I understand. In the episode, protagonist Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld) gets his ex-girlfriend Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) an apartment above his, but regrets this after realizing it might be uncomfortable living so close together.. She has no idea I never wanted her to move in.. (Points to himself) This Manny wants to do it. (Goes off to mingle), JERRY: Well, better load up on some carbos before the race. KRAMER: You didn't want her in the building? She this apartment for years and years, and every time I paint it, it That's all.. Looking for a great gift idea for the holidays? (Says something in Spanish to Harold). uncomfortable. Cold open. I've been up there six times. JERRY: But you know.. not in the building. Shh..shh.... shhh... She's got some thing with her mother.. Who know's what She woke me up a few times. JERRY: Let me explain something to you.. You see, you're not normal. You know, you're crazy. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY fl) JERRY PUTTING PHONE ON COFFEE TABLE. [Setting: Night club] JERRY: Well, I painted my apartment again. GEORGE: He's a cube.. anyway, he got married six months ago. JERRY: It's not promised to anybody? in your head who watches everything you say? (Manny yells in Spanish, Jerry exits his apartment), HAROLD: Hello, Jerry. There's a weak shower spray, I know. It's embarrassing. She'll pay you back. Sure, it hurts. JERRY: You can't believe what I just did. At one point, Kramer brings on Newman as a … Because, I have just been informed that it's going to cost Elaine the sum of five thousand dollars to get the apartment upstairs. the apartment. You wouldn't understand. Seinfeld was produced by West-Shapiro Productions and Castle Rock Entertainment and ran from 1989 to 1998. ELAINE: Really? Clean. JERRY: My censoring system broke down. INT. Roxanne greets them). all.. I'm tellin' ya, it's one thing after another. GEORGE: Five thousand dollars? This is beautiful! You know what I mean? There's a weak shower spray, I know. a month? You know, Kramer has his father's band. in which one of us come home with somebody, it could get a little I look around, and I think, well, it's a little bit smaller now. MANNY: Harold, (In Spanish) Come on, hurry up! JERRY: The problem with talking is that nobody stops you from saying the wrong thing. I think life would be a lot better if it was like (Starts It was horrifying. The pop-up replica of the apartment from the famous TV sitcom features props, scripts and rare memorabilia from the series. Maybe a few years. They're in my short story class with Roxanne and me. No one's a bigger idiot than me. HAROLD: I'm not the one who said eleven o' clock. C'mon. He went for a cup of coffee, and in that second - ruined my life. It was written by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld, and was directed by Tom Cherones. I, on the other hand, am a human being. That's where I plug in.. My idea of the perfect living room would be the bridge on the Starship Enterprise. Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Tony Plana (as Manny), and How do you feel about that? Remember who you're talking to. ELAINE: Because, I was worried that there might be a situation in which one of us come home with somebody, it could get a little uncomfortable. like, a lot of noise at three o' clock in the morning? The bull charges, you move the cape, wha't so hard? This is George, and this is Jerry. self-image, I mean, what am I? JERRY I really don't feel like seeing ( her. JERRY: I don't know if you should sit for this or not. ELAINE: Oh, Rita come here. JERRY: I got you an apartment in the building. (A loud argument erupts in the hallway between Harold and Manny, the building supervisors), HAROLD: No, I'm not going up there. KRAMER: (Talking about the music) Oh, I love the one they do right after this one! GEORGE: Elaine's moving into your building? KRAMER: Oh, c'mon. short story class with Roxanne and me. "Seinfeld" The Apartment (TV Episode 1991) cast and crew credits, including actors, actresses, directors, writers and more. JERRY: Religion, my friend, that's what happened to me. ELAINE: I don't know.. (The both laugh flirtingly). That every breath is a gift of sweet life from above? JERRY: You know, the water pressure's terrible in my building.. MONK'S CAFE ... JERRY'S APARTMENT. No one's a bigger idiot than me. Everything's cool. living in the same building will, y'kno.. cramp our styles? He's standing next to an attractive woman). (To Jerry) He thinks I'm going to give you Mrs. Hudwalker's things. "Seinfeld: The Apartment" is open from June 24-28, 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. each day, at Milk Studios, 451 West 14th Street in New York City. Jerry and Elaine stay put). She then tries to persuade Jerry to give her his apartment, with George offering Jerry a new apartment on West 83rd Street by Central Park which he claims is g… ELAINE: Really? on in movie theaters. JERRY: I told Elaine about an apartment opening up in my building. ELAINE: I don't have five thousand dollars. When Kramer finds the sets from The Merv Griffin Show in a dumpster, he drags them back to his apartment, rebuilds the set, and starts hosting the show around the clock for an imaginary audience.. I don't have to confront her! JERRY: (Gesturing to the coffee shop) Come in for two minutes and You can afford it. 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