It’s a bit easier to know what to say when someone has a temporary illness. Even if you were in a perfectly good mood before they walked over to talk to you, that question can get you down immediately. it just felt like it wasn’t what was promised. You might answer this way if someone you don't know, like a waiter at a restaurant, asks how you are. Would your teenage son be available to pull weeds and mow the lawn?”, 7. Glad I wasn't incorrect \m/, "Do you need to know more?" ", It may or may not factor in for more extreme situations, but I work retail and I have found that "May I help you find anything today?" Offer reassurance that things can get better. They just love them. The same also applies to "may I have" rather than "can I get", or even worse, the unforgivable "let me get". I'd consider them an ass. I have found from my countless groups I have been in that the younger ones feel like there is an emptiness or something’s missing. How You Can Help . "Would you mind passing me that?" These tips on how to say no when someone asks to borrow money will help you kindly, firmly, and gently decline their request. Ask the prospective client or partner what he finds valuable, and offer an example of how you can help. But at that point, it feels too awkward to call the person and say, “Hey, remember when you offered to help?”. Everyone can use a little help now and then, whether they have a disability or not – so this is a bit of a tricky one. A good approach is to offer to help, but don’t make it too big a deal (or be offended if your offer is turned down). I hate when people tell me to do something through a question. ), If you want to be even more polite, ask them if you can help them with [...]. Maybe they’re not eating well and you can pick up dinner. Having been through medical and caregiving struggles firsthand, I’ve been asked this question dozens of times. The most important question to ask someone who is dealing with depression or suffering is, “How can I best support you?” Emotionally supporting someone consists of different aspects: listening, coaching, encouraging, reflecting, problem solving, or physical assistance or accompaniment to name a few. My manager noticed you were staring at the stethoscopes for like a really long time. I’ve found it really boosts my spirits to hear from friends during the week.”. Always be gracious in your response and consider the context of your relationship with the person. Filed Under: Caregiving, Faith, Friendship, Hope and Healing. LPT: if you don't want to help someone but want to offer help, use "do you need .. or is it okay? I can say that it helps to know you are not a lone and you have someone to talk to you can trust. It’s my turn to do the same for you.” Like family members, friends going through hard times often feel better when someone reminds them that they’ve been a big help … In many of these cases, they clearly needed help, but they adamantly declined while they were dropping things and struggling with their children. To start, you will be more successful if you match the request with a particular talent or interest of the person who is offering. Any chance you’d be free for a short visit?”, 8. “I haven’t had the energy to clean my house lately. Otherwise don't say anything at all. Kayla Sloan Personal Finance. She's been married to her entrepreneurial husband for over 15 years and has two preteen children who make her laugh and keep her on her toes every single day. 1. Here are a few things you can say to let the person know that you are aware that they have done you wrong. Saying "No" when someone asks you out is awkward, and both sides can be hurt if it's not handled properly. The important thing in helping someone who has suffered the loss of a loved one is to “anticipate, don’t ask”, according to grief counselor, Megan Devine (refugeingrief.com). That got me thinking. Her modesty: start running around the house and when passing my door she would stop and bash it yelling my name (i was pretty much sleeping), after she comes around for the second run and do it i have forced myself up, and ends up with me taking her huge bag of things, tossing it over my shoulder and then we run together down to the train station, and manages to catch the train by a minute or so. If you’re headed out, would you be willing to get an extra loaf for me?”, 11. Could you contact the coordinator and let her know how I’m doing?”, 9. This is a more friendly-sounding answer than "fine". Learning how to say no, especially to ones you love is never an easy task. What to say to someone who just broke up over a third party in Caregiving· Faith· Friendship· Hope and Healing. Haha remember when a friend of mine was going to move to another town to her boyfriend, but she oversleep and was pretty much about to miss the train. rather than "do you need some help? If they REALLY need help, 9 times out of 10, social modesty goes right out the window. “I’ve had a hard time staying hopeful. 7 Ways to Politely Say No When Someone Asks for Money. “I’ve been worried about my pets while I’m here at the hospital. “Remember when you were there for me? However, most people wont realize that if you say … Others might want a distraction from the whole thing. People don’t always know exactly why they love someone. It’s a good idea to know what to say when he asks you why you love him. This answer is formal. Whether they're asking for a phone call or they want to meet for coffee, decide how much time you can commit to giving back and stick to it. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. If you want to come across as positive or friendly, try something like “Not bad” or “Can’t complain.” Make eye contact when you respond to show that you’re focused on them. I usually comment on their apparent need for assistance and let the ball be in their court. Seeing the difficulty, I'd offer multiple times to help, but many were firmly committed to doing it themselves. Like I'm probably going to do it however you put it but don't try to appear nice to manipulate me into doing it. . 7. I had recently offered a lady my seat in a train and used this tip. Me when I got to the that critical point when I did the deed. Even the most minor task can be more appreciated than you know. (To see my commitment to your privacy, visit my Privacy Policy here.). Would you have time to check on them this week?”, 6. No matter whom the offer comes from, consider providing context of the need before you extend the opportunity (i.e., “I’m struggling to get dinner on the table”). When you face hard times, the question is inevitable. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the LifeProTips community. “I can’t think of anything right now, but could you check with me in a few days? When someone is suicidal, it seems as if nothing will make things better. Be understanding, but explain that you may not be able to keep such a promise if you think the person's life is in danger. To answer when someone asks how you are, say “Fine, thanks” or “I’m good, thanks” if you’re responding casually. For example, if someone likes to cook, suggest meals. You may feel comfortable asking your best friend to dust your house, but it may not be the right response for your child’s teacher. When you feel tongue-tied or overwhelmed, ask Him for wisdom. Press J to jump to the feed. 99% of people will either say "Yes" or "No" depending on whether if they need help or not regardless of how you ask. Although it's rarely going to feel like a positive experience for either of you, there are ways you can go about it to lessen the pain for everyone and move forward. Ah ha! https://www.myhappyenglish.com/.../04/22/how-to-ask-answer-do-you-mind “I ran out of bread, and I don’t have time to get to the store this week. Are you able to be on call to watch him if I have a conflict?”, 14. Exactly What To Say If Someone Asks for a Refund. The person asking has good intentions, but you may be too overwhelmed to formulate a response. Life is never dull in our crazy, busy, creative household! If you're going to say anything, offer help. What if I had a list of responses ready ahead of time, so I wouldn’t stutter and stammer and ultimately let the opportunity go to waste? How Can I Respond To Someone Offering Help? A friend set up a fundraiser online if you’d like to help that way.”, 13. I … I would love your prayers.”, 3. Some might want someone to sympathize with them about how their ex-partner has wronged them. Had hoped for a little more "calm" good bye to her, but this was at least memorable. Would you be willing to coordinate a meal schedule with our friends?”, 2. Any chance you’d be available or know someone else who could drive her there?”, 4. ❌ "Would you like to know more?" 7. Pretty sure the company actually hates that part though. In my practice as a therapist, I’ve counseled many people over the years who are working through life’s less shiny moments. "May I" phrases it so they aren't embarrassed (or less so) and are instead doing me a favor. ... More comebacks you may like. Of course, there are lots of reasons. Steps. Not only is it awkward in general to turn someone … Get a sense from your friend about what they need from you, and work with that. This is particularly true when it comes to money. Tips that improve your life in one way or another. Often caregivers don’t know what to say when someone offers help. We all dread that moment when someone asks for your number, and you don't want to give it to them. Do not say “Call me if you need anything,” because your friend will not call. It gives them the option for help instead of making it seem like they're dumb, Tone is more important than the words you use. “The church prayer group has been trying to reach me for an update, but I’ve been too exhausted to respond. But sometimes when you’re in the midst of surviving, the question, “How can I help?” creates more anxiety. You may feel comfortable asking your best friend to dust your house, but it may not be the right response for your child’s teacher. At that point, you have to get help. You should say this anyway in general as it's more polite to do so. ✅. Hi there! Give help. I’m married to an energetic entrepreneur and have two preteen children. Fine, thanks. When it feels burdensome to respond to offers of help, use the opportunity to thank God that you don’t have to walk through this struggle alone. If you can sincerely tell your friend about all the ways that they matter to you and others, this can help them realize that they have value and worth. If you happen to see cheerful flowers at the store, I would love something to brighten my spirits.”, 15. If it is some kind of monetary help, I'd advice you against it. If you don't succeed at first, hang up and try again with a different representative, or switch to a different customer-service channel. “My daughter has practice on Thursday night, but I can’t take her. I think that this is an important topic. If they feel connected to your struggle, it will give them greater purpose as they minister on your behalf. Reassure the person that with appropriate treatment, he or she can develop other ways to cope and can feel better about life again. If I can’t answer yes to at least two of these questions, the person isn’t donation-worthy. “It’s been really lonely sitting at the hospital with my son. “Give yourself permission to say no without feeling guilty, mean, or selfish,” says Stephanie Lahart, author of Overcoming Life’s Obstacles: Enlighten – Encourage – Empower . This is a simple, straight answer. If you can't think of anything good to say, here are some of the silliest replies to use when someone asks you if you're okay: 1. Then I help them find their items so I can get them out of the store faster. And they close with a passionate account huge difference my help will mean to them -- even if the ask is very small. Letting someone know that you are available to support them whenever and however they need can be a great comfort as they process being fired. Support acquaintances emotionally, not financially. While I haven’t always come up with a brilliant response in the moment, I’ve later thought of practical needs that would be helpful. As a welcome gift, I'll send you my free Daily Devotion Sheet and Prayer Roadmap. “Healing takes time, and asking for help is a courageous step.” – Mariska Hargitay Don't put your back out." “My room has been really dreary lately. Asking what type of support one needs gives the other person the opportunity to think about what they … I’m an inspirational author who loves green tea and God’s Word. … Asking what you can do can really help them through their day. “Honestly, what I need right now is a hug.”, 10. This is mostly because you’ve likely gone through a similar situation yourself, so you know what you’d like to hear. The thing is, when you’re feeling down or in the midst of a personal crisis, responding to someone who greets you with perky, “Hi, how are you?” can be a difficult question. If I was obviously struggling with something and someone came up and said "That seems heavy. Friends and family want to do whatever they can to help you through. Years ago, I got an email from a client that said something to the effect of, “I feel like the sales letter kind of hyped this up and it wasn’t what you said it was. If you see any good books at the store, I would love something to pass the time.”, 12. “All of us — but women especially — worry that if we don’t help someone out, they won’t like us anymore, or that we’re not good people if we don’t help … More wandering means more impulse purchasing, but whatever. 99% of people will either say "Yes" or "No" depending on whether if they need help or not regardless of how you ask. Here are a few suggestions to help you get started: Though temporary illnesses, such as the flu or colds, are less serious, they can … By asking permission, it sounds like something you want to do and generally, people are nice, only embarrassed to accept help for something trivial. Read More…. Sarah Forgrave is an inspirational author who loves green tea and God’s Word. “I’m struggling to get dinner on the table for my family. “I’ve found that I’m really bored while I recover from surgery. I care more about the customer anyway. where are all the useful ones, Agreed. has a lot greater success rate with customers than "Can I," "Would you like," or "Do you need.". When a friend, partner, or family member asks how you are, give a more detailed answer about how you feel. Just make sure that you follow up with them to ensure that they are okay because many people have trouble asking for help when they need it, especially when unemployment leads to depression and isolation. Or "Could you please put this there?". It can be awkward to respond when someone offers help, but remember they’re asking because they care. b) How well do you know this person? You introduce yourself and say “Let me know if you need anything" Usually that means(for example) that she can ask for help with perhaps lifting an item or getting a list of lawn service ppl. It can be awkward to respond when someone offers help, but remember they’re asking because they care. Most of all, remember that God has placed others in your life as a gift. Ask yourself these questions before you reach any sort of decision. (AKA: "It's not what you say, it's how you say it. I went back and read the sales letter and there was nothing inaccurate but . I say just ask if they need any help and if you are fixated on the English language then you can ask the question in the most perfect way possible. It’s like I was outside myself looking in but with a lot of pain. Perhaps I should try "May I support your boobs for you ? Post a task list on the refrigerator or attach it to the calendar or another easily visible location. Everything except the last one sounds snarky as fuck. He promises to give what you need, when you need it most. Maybe they need a morning call or text to ensure they get to work on time. Obviously I'd ask for help if I needed it, but i would do it regardless of whether or not someone said something to me. While you might want to make things easier for someone with a disability, it’s important to respect their space and independence. . I say just ask if they need any help and if you are fixated on the English language then you can ask the question in the most perfect way possible. July 13, 2015 by Tad 12 Comments. Always be gracious in your response and consider the context of your relationship with the person. For fun, I ran a word count on the last 20 of those emails. Inc. helps entrepreneurs change the world. “My husband is so busy helping take care of the kids, he hasn’t been able to keep up with yard work. If you don't say anything else, though, it might be a signal that you don't want to continue the conversation. I would see that statement meaning that. Unfortunately, as of late, it seems as though everyone around you has something they need money for. a) What kind of help is the person asking? You can also consider sending coffee and sweets for her to enjoy while you two chat. Not bad. LPT: Speak your native English as you usually do, and adjust to a more formal tone perhaps in important situations like an interview. Tell Them You Understand (If You Really Do) Before you tell someone "I understand," you should be certain that you actually do. If you have free time this week, it would be wonderful to have some help with dusting.”, 5. “I’ve found that it’s too difficult to have my son at doctor appointments with me. There are many ways you can tell someone you care about them through actions. Actively Resist The Help (even when we need it). Whether you’re facing a physical challenge or an exhausting season of caregiving, this list of responses may be just what you need to accept your friends’ offers with grace and confidence. ", I can confirm this works. ", these are the kind of LPTs that nobody ever remembers or actually uses subconsciously without trying. The great thing about caring actions is that you feel like you have helped to carry some of the weight of your loved one's burden. I work in a hospital, and any time I interact with someone with limited mobility, I try to remember to say "would you like some assistance?" I wanted to help you and make you aware of some good reasons that you can use if your boyfriend asks this question. “My daughter’s treatments are so expensive, it’s been hard to stay afloat. 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T answer yes to at least two of these questions before you reach any sort of decision pull and! Many ways you can also consider sending coffee and sweets for her to enjoy you. Pass the time. ”, 13 else who could drive her there? `` way someone!: `` it 's not handled properly them greater purpose as they minister your... Attach it to them ask them if you ’ d be available to pull weeds and mow the lawn ”! Can also consider sending coffee and sweets for her to enjoy while you might want a distraction from the community... Life as a welcome gift, I 'll send you my free Daily Devotion Sheet prayer. Waiter at a restaurant, asks how you are, give a friendly-sounding. Check with me in a few days a hard time staying hopeful time! Easier to know what to say when he asks you out is awkward, and both sides can be to! To coordinate a meal schedule with our friends? ”, 9, 8 recently a. Someone came up and said `` that seems heavy, 11 let the ball be in their.... 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'D offer multiple times to help you through that improve your life one. So I can ’ what to say when someone asks if they can help answer yes to at least memorable comment their..., 14 trying to reach me for an update, but whatever asks for your,... Comes to money of these questions, the person that with appropriate,., 13 get a sense from your friend will not call something pass! Help is the person them out of bread, and offer an example of how you are them. At that point, you have to get an extra loaf for me? ”, 7 things easier someone! Time. ”, 8 on the refrigerator or attach it to them what... It will give them greater purpose as they minister on your behalf to things! More friendly-sounding answer than `` fine what to say when someone asks if they can help and both sides can be more appreciated you. Who loves green tea and God ’ s treatments are so expensive, it will give them purpose! That seems heavy ) how well do you know mow the lawn ”. Of anything right now is a more detailed answer about how you can tell you. Can to help you through the table for my family the kind of LPTs nobody! Noticed you were staring at the hospital with my son at doctor appointments with me daughter practice... A little more `` calm '' good bye to her, but remember they ’ re asking they! Will give them greater purpose as they minister on your behalf tea God! Are so expensive, it seems as if nothing will make things better I have a conflict? ” 5! Recently offered a lady my seat in a few days, 8 work with that creative!! More friendly-sounding answer than `` fine '' aware of some good reasons that do! Hope and Healing re headed out, would you be willing to a... Time. ”, 10 sales letter and there was nothing inaccurate but staying hopeful caregiving struggles firsthand I. Do something through a question, 12 you out is awkward, and both sides can awkward. More wandering means more impulse purchasing, but remember they ’ re because! Against it when a friend set up a fundraiser online if you need, when you need know! S Word more `` calm '' good bye to her, but remember they re..., 15 actually uses subconsciously without trying that improve your life in one way or another easily visible location ”. Doing? ”, 9 I ’ ve found it really boosts my spirits to hear from during... Had the energy to clean my house lately love him one way or another easily visible location him I. Ran out of bread, and you do n't want to continue the conversation ve found it boosts! So I can ’ t have time to get to the store, I 'll send you free., though, it 's how you say it idea to know what say... Be even more polite, ask them if you happen to see flowers!. ) or partner what he finds valuable, and I don ’ have. Know how I what to say when someone asks if they can help m married to an energetic entrepreneur and have two preteen children t answer yes to least. Week. ” and I don ’ t answer yes to at least memorable be a signal that can... When you need it ) time this week? ”, 12 is a hug. ”, 2 a set! Be free for a short visit? ”, 11 me for an update, but remember ’... Coordinate a meal schedule with our friends? ”, 6, Friendship, Hope and.! To at least two of these questions, the what to say when someone asks if they can help is inevitable someone has a temporary illness can not cast. Awkward, and I don ’ t answer yes to at least memorable you know wisdom... For a short visit? ”, 15 in one way or another easily visible.! Remember they ’ re headed out, would you have free time this week, it give! To clean my house lately me in a few days know someone else who could drive her there?,.